So I was having a discussion with an unmarried friend yesterday and this question popped in my head. Before I knew it, I asked, “can you marry a divorcee?” Lmao, wrong question, man snapped back and said No, No, No.😄😄
It was funny at first yeah and i didn’t feel anyhow but again I wanted to know the reason behind his answer. He said and I quote: “how will I marry a divorcee na, I have been a good boy for 34years of my life, I deserve a good spouse too🤷♀️”. At this point, I sat up and asked what he meant by that, he went ahead to quote an Islamic saying or hadith according to him which states that: “a good man deserves a good woman”.
Yeah I was lost too🤣. So a divorcee is a bad person because he/she came out of a bad marriage?, I asked and he went no no thats not what he meant bla bla. Guys, at that point I was really interested in pushing the conversation forward cause for all I care he had a wrong notion about it. Infact the society has biased opinion about a female divorcee being the victim and the male being the one who caused the divorce, but this is not the contention here.
A divorcee isn’t exactly a bad person infact is not a bad person until proven so. Some are just victims of unpleasant situations, they might be the sweetest person you’d eventually meet. I told him about a pretty lady who got divorced three years after a marriage that wasn’t working, she’s living her life now and you will mistake her for someone who has never been married. I told him to consider more than the status of “divorcee” and look at the person instead.
I guess I scared him a bit and he asked if I was a divorcee🤣🤣. Well, I said yes to get his reaction, then I asked the question again🤣😄. Guess who suddenly started advocating for “we need to look beyond the ordinary and take into consideration rather important things when choosing a spouse. Like her deen, career goals, faithfulness, maturity bla bla, it doesn’t matter where she is coming from…” lmao
Y’all see how the conversation ended? I am not trying to give a verdict on whether people should marry a divorcee or not, I just like to correct the notion that being a divorcee doesn’t make one less worthy of having a second happy marriage especially when the initial failure wasn’t their fault.
Everyone deserves a good marriage whether as a first or not. We all deserve to be loved genuinely❣. Even as Muslims, during the time of the Prophet (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), there are examples of divorcees getting married and living happily ever after.
We should just pray that Allah grants us what’s best for us in the world and the hereafter.
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