I got my performance review today….

Hahahahaha, how does this time make you feel? Nervous, happy, sad😄😢😒

So today I got my performance review….

It wasn’t that time of the year but it was coincidentally two days to my one year anniversary at the firm, so I decided to ask my boss randomly for a feedback (of course negative and positive). It was an audio call so thankfully, I didn’t have to see his facial expression, lol.

“Oh good question, its good you asked”, he said. “Let me start with the positive feedback (drumrolls….). I must say there has been an obvious growth from the period you joined the firm till now (applaud 😀). You have the right attitude towards work, I see you putting in the effort, diligence, willingness to provide solution to issues, taking up responsibility…. I see all of that. Trust me, those soft skills are really helpful in your work output, if you keep up this way with a little more speed in other things, you’d come out great”! Gbam!!!

You are doing well! Keep it up!!!

Then the negative comments (sobs…).

“Remember the growth I mentioned earlier, I think its a bit slow. I see you have the potential, some of which are the soft skills earlier identified, but you are moving slow such that your level of growth is being affected. You are sitting too much on your potential, you are doing things at your pace like you have all the time in the world, no, you dont! This is all the time you have now to make that speedy growth and get to the top fast, so you have more than enough time to sit back and look at the successes you’ve made.”

“In summary, you need to push harder, be more out there, be more expressive and crave for faster growth. I see you doing really great, you just need to ‘Push a Little Harder'”

And that was it… THANK YOU! And THE END. It wasn’t so bad lol…😃😃

Tell me about your worst and most exciting performance review😄😄

Ramadan

Fasting in the month of Ramadan is one of the pillars of Islam, and one of the greatest acts of worship in the sight of Allah.

Allah commanded us in the Quran: “Fasting is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, that you may become al-muttaqoon (the pious)”. Surah Al Baqarah.

Fasting means to abstain. To earn the most reward from Allah, fasting doesnt only mean abstaining from foods and drinks, but to avoid all acts of immorality such as gossips,dishonesty, backbiting, from dawn to sunset. During this period, the Prophet advised that: ” if one of you is being cursed or annoyed, he should say: “I am fasting, I am fasting”.

A fasting person is promised reward from Allah azza wajjal for Allah is pleased with the one who fasts. Rasulullah once replied Abu Umamah when he asked: ” order me to do a good deed so that I may enter Paradise” the prophet responded: stick to fasting, as there is no equivalent to it’ he repeated this advise to show the importance of fasting.

Ramadan is also the period when Allah is said to chain down the Shaytan and open the doors of His mercy and forgiveness (how beautiful, ma shaa Ramadan.. Allah never refuses the duaa of a fasting person especially during Iftar (sunset) thats how elevated we are during Ramadan.

We are advised to increase our good deeds during this period as rewards are multiplied. Acts such as recitation of the holy Quran, charity, dhikr, nawafil etc are greatly advised.

May Allah make it easy for us to complete this Ramadan and witness many more. May He accept our fasting as an act of Ibadan and reward us abundantly.

AMEEN🙏🏻

Ramadan is coming.☺☺

I say “Marhaban ya Ramadan” which means “welcome month Ramadan” in advance. I am so excited that the beautiful and most blessed month of year is almost here. May Allah spare our lives to witness this coming Ramadan and many more. Ameen!

Ramadan is the ninth month of the Islamic month where Allah has commanded every Muslim except a few (the sick,nursing mother,menstruating woman and old people) to fast for the 30 or sometimes 29days after which a little celebration is done to thank Allah.

Verse of the Quran commanding Muslims to fast during the month of Ramadan.

I want to share my Ramadan experience and why I look forward to it😊.

Ramadan to me has always being a month of reflection and cleansing. I tend to put up a list of my sins and bad habits for the past year and seek forgiveness on daily basis. I reflect on the last year, my level of eeman,my good and bad deeds, my closeness to Allah and my life journey generally towards the righteous end. In reflecting, I discover my weak points, I pray for strength in them and work towards becoming better.

Ramadan is a month of blessing,blessing upon blessing. Allah promised us that our prayers,wants,desires,needs will be granted automatically by virtue of the blessings of the month. Ramadan is that month where the rewards for your good deeds are in manifolds, I try as much as possible to do lots of Sadaqah (alms giving) during this month. Provide Sahur(morning meal) or iftar(evening meal) for a fasting person, give alms to the poor,visit the sick, put a smile on the face of the distressed,make your parents happy, forgive people etc. Do these and all other good deeds and watch the truckload of blessings coming in manifold,it is Allah’s promise that His blessing will come in manifold during the month of Rahmah.

I seek for forgiveness like its my only chance during the month of Ramadan. While being merciful to His servants,Allah also promises to forgive us during this month such that if we seek forgiveness and repent sincerely, we will be seen as one who has never committed any sin at all. During this period, I talk to Allah in tears (if there’s a language called “tears”), I prostrate,sit,kneel,lay and in any position I find myself,I raise my hands,put my heart to Allah and seek for forgiveness shamelessly. I begin to recount every bad deed,from the silliest to the most serious deed,I ask Allah to forgive me as there is no one else capable of forgiving and showing mercy.

Also in Ramadan, I finally create of list of my desires, I recite them repeatedly before breaking every fast. I literally tie those duas to the fact that I just successfully obeyed Allahs order such that it will be out of place for Him to turn His back on me. I also repeat them during tahajjud and especially during I’itikaf (the last ten days of Ramadan). I dont take any chances with seeking Allah’s mercies cause I believe the month in itself is that of bountiful mercy, so why keep quiet.🙅

It is also important to note here that the month of Ramadan is the holy month of the Quran. Recitation of the Quran during this period is one of the most rewardable acts, it is advised to ponder on the words of Allah at this time while obeying His command. It creates some sort of spiritual connection with Allah, when I recite the Quran while fasting in this Holy month. Sometimes after reciting the Arabic version, I go ahead to read through the translation to get a better understanding of the verses of the Holy book. I am usually excited about this cause no matter how long I have left the Quran, Ramadan draws me back unconsciously and I get to recite it every single day of the month. (Like every single day😄😄) what a blessing!

Al Quran ul-Kareem

What is your worst fear?

Hahahaha definitely not scorpions.😄😄

My worst fear!

I think my worst fear will be loosing my loved ones. I am yet to imagine a perfect scenario of such happening and what my reaction will be. What would I do upon hearing the news,will I burst into tears immediately or stare long enough to have people worried? If I cry will I ever stop? Will I loose my voice and never be able to talk again cause I probably won’t have the courage to say a word. Will I ask to be left alone to reminisce for a while? Will I look up to God and speak in strange languages maybe I’d get answers to my one question at that moment? The “WHY” question? And so on…

Trust me I have tried and tried not to imagine but yet the death of someone kinda pricks me to remember that one day,that day when I’d loose a loved one too. By Loved ones I mean my Parents, Siblings,Close relations and Friends. The list for friends can be exhaustive but my friends are usually those that I have a level of understanding with.

I am not even scared of the dark😃 or yeah I believe I am not😥. Maybe sometimes😜maybe a little..😭 Lol!😂

So I woke up today and saw a message on one of my WhatsApp groups about an high school mate who just lost her dad last night. At that moment,I could just think of the pain that comes with death,the trauma the families of the deceased will be thrown into,the tears, the questions and all of that. I thought of the day I’d be no more too but I thought more of the day I’ll loose a loved one, cause in fact everybody will go One day. One day that nobody knows but Allah azza wajjal.

I said a prayer for the dead as well as the relatives and myself. One day,we’d all face our worst fears whether we like it or not. And the amazing thing is that,we always overcome it,no matter how difficult is is. Its been written,its been destined,we are all just waiting to face it, then we’d react and overcome it.

What is your worst fear? Let’s hear you…

Alhamdulillah…

Its Friday today and I decided to put up my first Islamic post. I want to talk about being grateful to Allah no matter the situation.

As muslims we are advised at all times,in whatever situation, good or bad,favourable or not,in sickness or in heath, financially upright or otherwise, happy or sad, etc. to be grateful to Allah azza wajjal. This is because in whatever situation we find ourselves,Allah is aware and is indeed present to see us through the process. He knows the what,why,how and where of our lives,for this singular reason we should be rest assured that whatever happens is from Allah and He will not put us through a burden that is more than what we can bear.

Even in the dark times,look around you, you’d see reasons to be thankful.

I will share a personal story,the day I said Alhamdulillah after getting what happened to be a really bad news.

So on the 27th of ******ber, 20**, I was diagnosed of an ailment (one that till now I still try to figure out how I contacted it). I was at work on a Friday,having resumed from almost a two weeks sick leave, managing to meet up with tasks I have left hanging for long when I got a text. I have been anticipating that text since the day I submitted a sample at the lab to confirm a 100% if I tested positive or negative to the ailment.

I checked my phone when I felt a vibration and my life was on pause for a few seconds,that moment will be my most dreaded moment till now, the text read “your test for *********(dont try to guess, I didn’t even count the number of * there) came out positive,you have to report for treatment immediately at the State Hospital. The only thing I could hear at that point was my voice,I kept on saying ” no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no…. I dont know the number of no’s I said that day but that was all I could say. Then I packed my bags while sobbing gently,my colleague patted my back,tried to comfort me even though she didn’t know what was wrong,she just guessed it was something bad.

In my unconscious state,I ordered a taxi and headed to the State Hospital,trying not to cry,forcefully eating my lunch(funny I could think of food right,well yes I had to eat cause as I had been told before the test result, my bad eating habit was taking a toll on me and I was obliged to change hence the food..). Half way into the ride,I realised the driver took a longer route,normal me would have asked why, cause i mean,longer hours more pay but I was too tired to talk. I already started getting calls from my mum, dad and brother and I cried quietly feeling so bad that I have to put these people in this situation.

I walked into the department where I was to see a doctor. I was immediately referred to as a patient,I had to abide by all rules therein, I sat with other patients, had my file opened and taken to the doctor,waited for my turn to be called in. I am sure I was lost in so much thought when I heard my name,it was my turn to see the doctor. I walked in as slowly as possible,hoping that its all a dream and I’m going to wake up soon, while still delaying my steps,I heard the doctors voice “good afternoon,how are you?, how did this happen?……

In my head I had answered all her questions, until she waved her hands then I realised I haven’t made any sound since I sat in the only other chair in the room. I repeated myself and answered all her questions, I really tried not to cry (I couldn’t just fathom how,how I was in such condition). She was quite impressed yet affectionate when she found out I was a professional, working,schooling and from an “average family”. She could only conclude that I was caught up in this mess cause of my bad eating habit. She advised me on how to manage my lifestyle henceforth, how I had to commence treatment immediately for the next number of months.

Fast forward to getting my file completed, I left with my first dose of drugs and headed straight to the hospital mosque. I performed ablution and observed salatul zuhr which I missed while at the clinic, I stayed longer in my last sujuud and cried,I surrendered to the will of Allah, I rose to say Teslim and my eyes went round the masjid and I saw people praying as well. I could only think of the various conditions everyone was, at that moment I went on sujuud again and said ALHAMDULILLAH, all the way from my heart.

I was grateful,I couldn’t think of the worst things that could have happened. Its a curable disease such that in few months time I’d be completely cured. I couldn’t compare my condition with people with more incurable or terminal diseases.

Alhamdulillah I said that day, I haven’t stopped saying it and by Allah, I won’t stop saying it cause I have been favoured by Allah. At a point when I thought I was far away from my Rabb, He brought me closer by placing on me a burden but He never and hasn’t left me for a second.

I am healing and almost completely cured😀😃😇

الحمدالله رب العلمن. Now I’m completely cured.

Past mistakes…

What’s your definition of learning from past mistakes? How bad do they affect you?

So I have made some not so bad mistakes in my life but bad enough to regret and wish I didn’t do them. Let me mention here that my posts for a reasonable length of time, will be around my “love life” as I am trying to get over an ugly experience.

Due to the past mistakes which mainly covers falling in love with the wrong person,getting so attached that I dont see clearly until its almost too late,relying so much on someone else for my own happiness and not being lonely bla bla. I look back now and feel really bad,i cry at times cause I just always feel I deserve more, than some person finding it easy or fun to hurt me. It took time to realise that,its not me(maybe sometimes its me,I mean no one is perfect) but the wrong set of people I have been meeting.

Back to the subject,making these mistakes have made me more vigilant and I tend to learn from them by threading carefully moving forward.

Just recently I was talking to a ‘friend’ about me being a person who takes lessons from her mistakes, he disagreed and said mistakes are bound to happen cause we aren’t perfect right but we should learn to leave the mistake and experiences behind when it comes to treating new people.

I argued otherwise cause I believe in using the lessons from previous mistakes as a guide to accepting or treating a new person. We can’t afford to make the same mistakes,once bitten they say twice shy.

Here’s a scenario: your last relationship started having issues when one party gets too busy to call or text,it becomes a once in a blue moon occasion for you guys to talk about the future, one party feels more into the relationship than the other and all of those one sided attitudes. On the long run,it breaks off and you two part ways.

Fast forward to two to three months time,you meet a new person and the first month,things are perfect,communication is on point,expression is 100% and all.

Then voila,the next month,someone is getting real busy,refers to you as a friend today,special someone tomorrow,teases you about dry jokes on relationship sometimes and all of that. Due to my experience I will become paranoid,scared,defensive,ready for the worst and very careful cause I don’t want to sink in the same boat twice. However,I try so hard not to give up so quickly,I give excuses that maybe its not the same,maybe this one is different,maybe just maybe.

But we’ll see😊

Letting go…

Quick question:

Does it mean cowardness when you let someone go but you cannot stand hearing, seeing or even catching a glimpse of the person’s existence, such that you destroy everything that reminds you of such person,block every form of contact (phone number,email address,social media pages etc.).Is this really effective in letting go and recovering from a heart break or it just shows one’s weakness in not knowing how to forgive,forget and move on?

I hope its a pleasure to meet me😍

http://worldofamuslimah.wordpress.comMy name is ********, a muslimah, Yoruba lady from lagos state, Nigeria. I am in my mid twenties, average height,sometimes fair sometimes dark lol. Being a muslimah,I love to dress modestly,long skirts, long t-shirts or body tops,abaya’s (I love abayas 😁), pants and palazzos (used to think I’d grow up as a tomboy cause I loved wearing trousers but Alhamdulillah now) and of course my hijab (sometimes I wrap it, when I’m lazy I wear a ninja hijab then throw a scarf around, other days I wear big hijab,i try Kimar on some days then on my wildest days I wear the niqab😊).I’m sure you can paint a picture of what I’d look like physically yeah, that’s good. Let’s talk about who I am personally, I am a very shy person (people that dont know me agree to this so well, they literally figure it out few seconds after meeting me. They be like: you seem like a very shy person and I’m like well ✌,didn’t know it was that obvious). Some people say I’m proud, I don’t defend this most times, I just leave them to engage with me for a little more then they figure it out themselves. I believe they say that cause I don’t talk so much, I observe silently more than I talk until I get to know the person or people in a gathering before I start engaging. On the other hand,I can be outspoken,this cheat is for my close pals,for the people I have been with for quite a long time or the few I just meet and blend in so easily with. Flowing from the above,I can proudly say I am an introvert. However I enjoy expressing myself but do you know the twist,I prefer to express myself anonymously to anonymous people, I enjoy doing things from behind the curtain(if you understand what I mean😁).

This is a very important part of me,I am a very emotional person, lol. Dont worry,I dont mean I cry all the time ( I actually do cry a lot,it helps me clear my head🤦) but that’s not all. My being emotional means I dont hide my emotions,I react to people based on my emotion (this could mean a lot, depends on what angle you take emotions. Its not so bad, I control it when necessary but its just difficult to hide when I’m happy,sad,in love,heart broken, irritated,furious and all of the other emotions.However, I decided to start this blog to get a lot of things off my mind,I believe it will help me heal. Alhamdulillah!

The Journey Begins

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton